I miss my boyfriend.
7 years ago
Summer has almost ended!
I cannot believe that summer is drawing to a close. In a mere nine days, I will have completed my final day of work as a Success Coach, and will be making the final preparations to drive to Red Deer, Alberta at an ungodly hour of the morning. A lot of things have occurred in the past four months, many of which I have most definitely enjoyed. I still don't feel entirely 'moved in' to my new basement suite, I haven't finished the book I purchased when my Mom visited for graduation in April, and I still have a number of things on my seven-point summer goal list to complete.
I am a mix of excitement and trepidation, contentedness and anxiety. I am mourning the loss of my Saskatchewan identity. I am, in some ways, officially an adult now--I imagine myself as twenty-three when I am only twenty-two and a half. To say the least, this summer has left me slight confused about, well, everything.
Highlights of summer (in a list, of course):
- going to Powell's
- learning how to golf
- finally having an assembled bookcase
- watching movies guilt-free
- seeing a hippopotamus at the zoo
- spending a weekend at the lake
- taking a hip-hop class with my girlfriends
- having general adventures
Looking at that list, I am happy with summer. But looking at my heart, I just don't want summer to go. Even though I am excited to finally be a (pretend?) teacher, I am dreading having homework again. Even though I am excited to go to Alberta with Graeme, I am dreading being without my boyfriend for four months. Even though, even though, even though. My life has split itself into two distinct pieces--one piece peaceful and content and one piece mind-numbingly nervous. The two pieces don't work well together.
Generally speaking, I claim to love change. In a break-time conversation on the lawn this afternoon, I openly admitted that I actually hate change. I like the results of change, but I definitely don't like the process of changing. Of course I want to be a high school teacher... but that doesn't mean I want to go to school for another nine months of my life. Of course I want to continue dating Graeme... but that doesn't mean I want us to be separated by all of western and central Canada. Bah humbug, this may prove to be the hardest year of my life. In fact, I'm quite confident that this year--whether it be this school year, the next three hundred and sixty five days, or the age of twenty-two--will indeed be more difficult than all previous years I've lived.
Keys to survival (yes, another list):
- getting enough sleep
- doing all (home)work in advance
- spending time by myself
- budgeting
- reading books for fun
- trusting God with everything
I think I'm going to attempt to write more often. As of late, writing isn't something that I have managed to properly prioritize. However, when I do write, I honestly think that I am at least somewhat more mentally stable. Needless to say, I'm going to write more often. At this point in the evening, however, my bed is calling me to go to sleep. I am forcing myself to go to bed before midnight so I can actually get up in the morning. :)
I am a mix of excitement and trepidation, contentedness and anxiety. I am mourning the loss of my Saskatchewan identity. I am, in some ways, officially an adult now--I imagine myself as twenty-three when I am only twenty-two and a half. To say the least, this summer has left me slight confused about, well, everything.
Highlights of summer (in a list, of course):
- going to Powell's
- learning how to golf
- finally having an assembled bookcase
- watching movies guilt-free
- seeing a hippopotamus at the zoo
- spending a weekend at the lake
- taking a hip-hop class with my girlfriends
- having general adventures
Looking at that list, I am happy with summer. But looking at my heart, I just don't want summer to go. Even though I am excited to finally be a (pretend?) teacher, I am dreading having homework again. Even though I am excited to go to Alberta with Graeme, I am dreading being without my boyfriend for four months. Even though, even though, even though. My life has split itself into two distinct pieces--one piece peaceful and content and one piece mind-numbingly nervous. The two pieces don't work well together.
Generally speaking, I claim to love change. In a break-time conversation on the lawn this afternoon, I openly admitted that I actually hate change. I like the results of change, but I definitely don't like the process of changing. Of course I want to be a high school teacher... but that doesn't mean I want to go to school for another nine months of my life. Of course I want to continue dating Graeme... but that doesn't mean I want us to be separated by all of western and central Canada. Bah humbug, this may prove to be the hardest year of my life. In fact, I'm quite confident that this year--whether it be this school year, the next three hundred and sixty five days, or the age of twenty-two--will indeed be more difficult than all previous years I've lived.
Keys to survival (yes, another list):
- getting enough sleep
- doing all (home)work in advance
- spending time by myself
- budgeting
- reading books for fun
- trusting God with everything
I think I'm going to attempt to write more often. As of late, writing isn't something that I have managed to properly prioritize. However, when I do write, I honestly think that I am at least somewhat more mentally stable. Needless to say, I'm going to write more often. At this point in the evening, however, my bed is calling me to go to sleep. I am forcing myself to go to bed before midnight so I can actually get up in the morning. :)
