Thoughts on Motherhood

Let me begin this post with a clarifying statement: I am not pregnant, nor do I currently wish to be pregnant. I greatly look forward to the point in my life in which I desire and am prepared to be a mother; this, however, is not that point. And my husband happily agrees. On with the actual writing bit.

I, admittedly, have somewhat of a unique experience with the ideas behind the role of a mother. My world began courtesy of a woman who didn't particularly want to be a mother, and thus opted out of the motherhood experience... to my knowledge, at least temporarily. As a result, I was--for a time--motherless. I existed in a world where I clearly had a caregiver or caregivers, yet none of these were officially labeled as 'mother'. Three months into my short life, the woman I now know as my mother appeared. I was adopted.

My mother worked out of the home in my early childhood, while my father was the primary 'bread winner', as it were. Apparently, I traveled along to housecleaning appointments. Maybe this is the source of my love for cleaning--an early-instilled love! That being said, my mother returned to work part-time once I entered the education system. And, eventually, she increased her work hours as I increased my level of independence. I was, and am, an only child. Independence was my childhood identity.

Eventually, my mother became the only winner of bread in our family. My father, plagued by a neurological disease, was unable to work. Thankfully, my mother was always a proponent of the female career. Clearly, her ideology paid off in a very practical way. All that to say that, despite my parents' busy schedule of work throughout my childhood, I was rarely in the care of others--I was with a parent, or on my own. And this experience is what leads me to be writing, and connecting my ideas to those of Erica Jong, who penned an article for The Wall Street Journal entitled "Mother Madness".

So how do we appropriate time in child rearing? And why can the role of mother become such a burden? With a little help from Ms. Jong, I'm going to try to sort this one out.

I face somewhat of a conundrum when it comes to my own future of motherhood: do I give birth to my own child as my own mother could not? Or do I adopt and, in a sense, 'pay it forward' for my own adoption into a loving family? Maybe I do both. I won't, however, lump myself along with Angelina Jolie and Madonna, who--as Jong mentions--"collect" children to "advertise their open-mindedness". Granted, I would like to think that I am open-minded, but I don't require an adopted child to show said open-mindedness.

The recent 'trend' in parenting/motherhood is something known as "attachment parenting", which can essentially be boiled down to a simple equation:

Mother + Baby = Life.

In no means do I wish to denigrate the role of mother or father; however, it isn't practical to have said baby dominate your life. As Jong mentions, how a parent or parents are to financially provide for their child while doting on them 24/7 doesn't get mentioned often. I was lucky enough to have parents who really understood what it meant for a marriage to be a partnership: that they worked together to raise me. Together. My father would work an early shift and be around to meet me when I got home from school; my mother would work evenings so she could get me on the bus and have my meals prepared. In our society, however (or at least with the attachment ideology), independence is of the utmost value--parents are supposed to be able to do the parenting 'thing' alone. The notion of a village raising a child is long-forgotten.

Additionally, parents are burdened with the stress of raising the perfect child... or at least a child that is far above the dreaded average. I witness this regularly when I see young, highly-involved (read: over-committed) students struggling through junior and senior high school. Most likely a product of their hyper-competitive mothers and fathers, unfortunate as that may be.

Jong purports that mothers in specific are "victimized" by expectations created out of the attachment parenting ideology. I would argue that fathers are victimized as well, though this is not a time in which I feel particularly inclined to defend my feminist revisioning. Society does, however, tell us that we can 'have it all'... you can be a mother and a successful career woman! This is all well and good (as I hope to find fulfillment in both work and parenting, just in different ways)... but I DO agree with Ms Jong:

Mothers must be free to choose.

In parenthood, one of the most harmful lessons that is too often transmitted is that of "I'm not good enough". For mothers and fathers to allow themselves to feel inadequate as parents will only increase their child's likelihood of feeling the same way. Inadequacy, however, is best staved off by recognizing the value of interdependence--that long-lost idea of "I don't have to do this on my own". Parents must recognize that part of being a parent is realizing that your child will and must be influenced by the rest of the world.

Inevitably, children must be informed (or they will discover on their own) that the world is, as Jong mentions, not a place they can control. My parents consistently reassured me that, though some other kids might be mean or say bad things, our home was always a safe place. Home should be a place of refuge for children, as long as those children realize that there is more out there than what is at home.

In short (or in long if you're judging based on the length of this blog),

Do the best you can. There are no rules.

--- chRistie

An update!

Life in the city of Ottawa is extremely busy, but also extremely awesome. The photo above was taken a week or two ago by our dear friend Phil. Phil and his wife Hilary flew out from Langley under the auspices of visiting relatives in the area, but somehow managed to spend a few days hanging out with us as well. :) The days were, to say the least, eventful, but seeing a few familiar BC faces = totally the best thing for Graeme and I. Not to mention that Phil is a great photographer (Exhibit A: Wedding photos from prior blog post), and was happy to share some quality Ottawa photos with us.



After more than two months, I still find it hard to believe that this city is now my city. Granted, living in British Columbia for the past six years has been a phenomenal experience (i.e. enjoying both mountains and ocean, living IN the Olympics, etc.)... but this city is teeming with history and importance. And I just love it. Plus Ottawa (and I suppose the rest of eastern Canada) has a beautiful and generally lengthy autumn. Autumn = my favourite season of all!



Overall, it's pretty great to live here, and pretty great to have friends like Phil and Hilary visit for a bit. We do, however, have a fairly extensive network of TWU/LLC alumni in the city, and thus a fairly extensive network of welcoming friends. A small group of us has actually decided to start a bi-weekly book club! Totally nerdy, but come on--Graeme and I are the ultimate nerds. We're starting out by reading The End of Religion by Bruxy Cavey, the pastor of the church which Graeme and I attend, aka: The Meeting House. Mix this in with all the teen lit I've been reading to prep for the Christmas season at Chapters, and I am going to be spending all of my (non-existent) free time with my nose in a book.

And I love it. :)

--- chRistie

'arry Pottah!

I am a member of an elite group of individuals. Before it was what I believe to be the book of a generation, before it was adapted into film, before anyone knew who Daniel Radcliffe was... I read Harry Potter.

I vividly remember the moment I first heard about the now-famous Mr. Potter. Seventh grade, sometime in late 1998/early 1999, hanging out with my (now long-time) friend in her brightly-coloured loft bedroom. "Hey. You should read this book," she said, and passed me a small paperback that--obscurely enough--quite in place with the colour scheme of her room. I looked at the book, skeptically, and decided to borrow it.

I loved Harry Potter. I was twelve-years-old; I WAS Harry Potter.

Oddly enough, I don't remember the actual reading of the book, though I safely assume I raced through it as I have raced through all of Rowling's other titles. At the time, it was just another book that I read quickly and really enjoyed. Nothing monumental. Little did I know that dear Harry was about to become the biggest literary phenomenon since--in my humble opinion--The Lord of the Rings.



A few years later, still awkwardly swimming my way through adolescence, Harry Potter jumped from the page onto a screen. Thankfully, I had a Potter partner to be my date to this movie. Reading books was for losers, and being excited for movie adaptations of books was for really big losers. Harry Potter was liable to be my social downfall.

As time passed, I couldn't get enough of Rowling's series. Somewhere in the midst of it all, I read (and obsessed over) The Lord of the Rings, and was sincerely distracted from my quasi-Potter obsession. I have to admit that I would readily save Tolkien's work from a fire before I saved Rowling's. Nevertheless, Harry Potter continued to infiltrate my universe. There were more books, more films, more people who actually liked this book. Harry Potter ceased to be my loser secret.

Fast-forward to my years as an undergrad at TWU. Many of the people in my friend group were Potter lovers. We had Potter parties, shared the cost of Harry Potter Scene It, defended Potter's integrity and literary value against naysayers, ran out of Education classes in order to make the first IMAX showing of the most recent movie. And then? We mourned when Harry Potter ended.



I read that final book faster and with more conviction than any other book previous, and I shed a grown-up tear or two when certain characters were lost. Within the next year of my life, the Harry Potter saga will be complete not only in writing but also in film. Embarrassingly or not, I feel as though a very small part of my identity will be locked up in a box and packed away with other memories from childhood once the credits of the last film roll.

Though Harry Potter is 'just' a children's book, it matters. JK Rowling was recently named the most powerful woman in all of the United Kingdom, beating out--no joke--THE QUEEN. Clearly, Harry Potter matters. JK Rowling has also gained my respect for her non-Potter endeavours. Before she skyrocketed to authorial fame, JK Rowling worked as a teacher (like myself) and independently cared for her young child. She is politically-aware, and an extremely competent non-fiction writer (for all aforementioned, see Exhibit A). Though a bold statement to make, I do believe that woman has earned her assets (though to such an extreme, I am not sure).



My husband does not like Harry Potter. He has never read (or wanted to read) any of the books, nor has he seen (or wanted to see) any of the films. Once, while waiting in line at a movie store, he glanced at a display of films and said "It's not that I hate those movies (Twilight, Harry Potter, other sensations), they just don't interest me." Thankfully, having moved away from all my Potter-loving friends, my dutiful husband has agreed to see the final installment(s) of the film saga. "Under two conditions," he says. "We're not going on opening night, and neither of us are wearing a costume."

Good thing I left my McGonagall costume in storage.

--- chRistie

Married, and the events leading up to being married.

In order to preserve memories for my own sake, and to share them with others, this post = totally happening. I have picked a small selection of 'highlight photos' from our wedding, and the events leading up to said wedding, and am going to do my best to commentate on each photo. August 22nd marked the start of my wonderful marriage to Graeme Esau, and I am so delighted to share that experience. So here goes? Photo commentary time begins! BE WARNED: This entry is ridiculously long.



At the end of June, my delightful mother-in-law Pat hosted a wedding shower for me in Red Deer. The photo picture is of my beautiful cousin Karissa and I at said shower. I found (and still find) it astounding that a group of women I largely did not know were so willing to welcome me into their tapestry of friends. I am truly blessed to have a great family of my own, and am now married into another great family! Sidebar thanks to my dear Karissa for attending more than one wedding-related event in the summer months. Blasty beyond comprehension.



In the same whirlwind weekend (immediately after the end of my school year and subsequent departure from my job share school that I loved), I had the joy of attending Joel and Jess' wedding (Graeme's cousin and now cousin-in-law). As to be featured later in this post, Graeme and his two male cousins of similar age all got married within a few months of each other. Gong show. Needless to say, the weekend was a delight (though a lot larger scale than our own forthcoming nuptials).



Pictured above are the previously mentioned cousins, and their fiancees and/or wives. Jess and Joel were married at the end of June; Logan and Shiloh in the middle of July; Graeme and I at the end of August. 'Twas a busy, BUSY summer... but thankfully there are group photos from each wedding to capture the joy. I was unfortunately unable to attend Log and Shi's wedding in Ontario; however, I understand that there is a space in a photo just waiting for me to be Photoshopped into...



And again, immediately after an already busy time, I flew to Saskatchewan for still more wedding events in my home town. My Mother, my 'sister' Joan and my best friend from high school Jessie collaborated to plan a great wedding shower for me while I was home. The photo pictured is of two former Sunday school students who were considerably smaller when I first taught them. Thus wedding event #2 is complete!



Wedding event #3 may likely be my favourite event (minus the actual getting married part). My lovely girlfriends planned a phenomenal bridal shower for me, the theme of which need not be mentioned. :) Hilary, former 4-month roommate, die-hard Bombers' fan, Smash Brothers partner and catering machine was obviously responsible for all of the delicious appys at the shower. This is obviously why I am so startled in the photo pictured above.




The women in this photo are AMAZING. One of them is behind the camera, and thus missing, but Shawna is equally as important in this chunk of text as the others. Each of these women played (and still plays) such an important role in my life in general, and in my relationship with Graeme, not to mention being a MAJOR help with all my wedding tasks. At the shower, they truly DID shower me--with great gifts and great food and great friendship. They even went through the trouble of interviewing my almost husband for the shower, which is a long story in and of itself. Suffice it to say, I am eternally grateful for Shawna, Kari, Hilary, Rose, Sarah, Lindsey, Laura and Taryne. MUCH love for all that you did.



Shortly before the wedding, I had another (unofficial, of course) party with a smaller group of girlfriends--my PDP crew, aka: roommates + almost roommate Shawna. Kudos to Jordan (Shawna's husband) for putting up with us and snapping some (largely unflattering) photos. These are the women most often in my apartment (two of them had no choice), and they seriously preserved my sanity for the last year or so. What I would have done pre-wedding without their patience, I have no idea.



Back to Lindsey Roommate and Sarah Roommate, who are MUCH more excited in this photo than I was. Taken at the start of my bachelorette party, this photo is from Value Village as we were selecting my bachelorette outfit. Thankfully, said outfit wasn't entirely traumatizing? Though the immense amount of sequins did make it fairly scratchy under the armpits.




This may well be one of my favourite pre-wedding photos. After selecting an appropriate bachelorette outfit, me and my closest girlfriends met in Yaletown to have dinner and play Bananagrams while the sun set. Afterwards, I admittedly threw somewhat of a bridezilla tantrum, which I will accurately attribute to being stressed. This photo, however, is taken after I have decided to be a grown-up and forget about being stressed. Herein lies the evidence that ice cream solves all problems (or maybe close girlfriends do). Thank you to Lindsey, Sarah, Kari, Hilary, Taryne and Erinn for being such wonderful women, and showing me such a good pre-wedding time. Karaoke = valid form of stress relief! :)



Around the same time I was bachelorette partying it up, Graeme arrived in the lower mainland with his parents. We spent all of Thursday running around doing wedding errands, and then on Friday were legally married by a marriage commissioner. This photo is from that 'ceremony', which very few were present for. Marianne, the marriage commissioner and fellow teacher, was super helpful with all the little details. Legally, Graeme and I were 'married' on Friday, though were totally celebrating the anniversary of our marriage as August 22 rather than August 20. Random fact (and wedding event #5) complete.



This photo is from our rehearsal dinner on the Saturday, featuring Cal (Graeme's former professor and current friend) and Trevor Lee's hat. Both are very important. :) Again, this was a stressful day/time for me, what with finishing packing and thinking about starting an entirely new life in Ottawa... so I was, to say the least, cranky on that afternoon. Thankfully, the people in attendance were totally gracious about my not-so-appropriate behaviour. Plus I was a lot more functional once I ate dinner. :) By this time--the day before the wedding--our families and friends had mostly arrived and were totally willing to help out... but there was nothing to help with? Kind of an awkward situation, but thanks to EVERYONE who offered!



After an evening of frantic packing (that I didn't even finish) and writing 'thank you' cards after everyone else had gone to sleep, the day of my wedding finally arrived (obviously?). I didn't sleep all that much, but I managed alright. In the morning, I admit I wasn't feeling all that stoked about the whole thing--experiencing the standard 'cold feet' I suppose--but once I stopped having to do things? Pfft. I was good. Hence this photo, which marks the beginning of me not doing anything for myself. :) Jaimie, my wonderful hair dresser from Zennkai, did a phenomenal job on my hair (that I could never dream of doing), and did it on her personal time. This woman even changed her family vacation days so she was available to do my hair. Just awesome. :) Plus she did my Mom's hair too, which also looked great!



Step #2 in the 'not doing anything for myself' process was getting my make-up done. I haven't had this done since I graduated from high school a number of years ago, and getting it done at Eccotique was rad. My girlfriends showing up to watch made it a little awkward, but I was super happy with the make-up situation. Plus in the midst of all this, Hilary's husband Phil was around snapping photos until our professional photographer arrived later on. Amazing. Near the end of my make-up appointment, I was getting a little stressed because we were running late and the other customers were (Murphy's Law) being slow and/or annoying. Plus it was raining? So the stress set in. I remember texting Kari (who was facilitating all wedding set-up/design in Fort Langley), and telling her to make it inside shortly after I said I didn't want to make the decision. Oh brother!



Shortly after arriving at Taryne's house where everyone else was getting ready, Kari called and said that "my fiance insisted the wedding be outside", to which I responded "okay", as I no longer cared about making choices. My Mom had prepared awesome pre-wedding snacks, and Taryne's Mom Renee was (duh) prepared with diet Coke. The photographers--John and Tash Crozier of Crozier Photography--had arrived, and I think I finally realized I was getting married. This photo features Tash, Taryne, my wedding dress, and a fully excited me. Lucy, Taryne's cat and my housemate for a few days, was thankfully hiding under the bed and NOT tearing my dress apart.



Fast-forward through my SUPREME water works while we were praying (I don't remember what was said because I was too busy staring upwards to keep my make-up from running, though I'm sure it was great), and my seemingly-endless wait in Renee's car while it was raining, to the real deal. Renee pulled up in front of the hall, Kelvin opened the door and asked me if I needed any help (to which I obviously responded "No, I've got it!"), and then I did it. Walked down the aisle. Didn't fall down, and didn't weep uncontrollably (though there were indeed tears, and more than I expected). I walked way too fast for people to hear enough of Dave Matthews (love that song), and I couldn't even see Graeme half the time. But I made it. Cobbled walkway or no, I made it.

* Side note that begs mentioning though? My flowers. Christina Willows did an absolutely phenomenal job of turning my "I don't know... purple and green flowers? No roses? Nothing hangy" nonsense into beautiful floral arrangements. They were exactly what I wanted, even when I didn't know what I wanted in the first place, and they were totally within budget. LOVE it! She's also, by the way, a really great photographer. Talk about multi-talented.



Another fast-forward through Cal's rad lecture/homily and my constant face-making, and again through our vows (and my crying too much to speak and trying a "what he said" comment before finishing the vows), and we were married! For the second time? But biblically this go around. My massive stilettos and general nervousness made me fail in the 'lean into the kiss' department, AND I forgot about the high five. I did, however, manage to strut a little bit when Kanye played as we walked out. Fort Langley is the best though, because the first people to congratulate us were random strangers walking their dog. Awesome memory.



Now come the details of the reception. Detail #1 is courtesy of Kari, my long time friend and Creative/Artistic Director of the wedding. Kari is one of the most creative people I know, and after HOURS of test runs (and who knows how many hours of actual production), she made what I'm guessing is close to 100 origami flowers out of my favourite books. I hunted down used/damaged copies of C.S. Lewis, Ted Dekker, and (of course) J.K. Rowling, and they were made into flowers. SUCH a great idea, and the small touch that made the wedding decor and whatnot feel very appropriate to Graeme and I.



I am a woman blessed with good connections. Working in catering for the past three summers, my former catering manager Erin made the culinary magic that was our wedding food. She patiently helped me sort of the menu of appys, and with the help of Hilary and some former co-workers, made this beautiful display of food. Hilary also takes credit for baking all the mini pies that we had instead of cake--green sprinkled apple pie and purple sprinkled berry pie, perfectly matching the wedding colours. Hilary is a woman with an eye for details, and has a wonderful heart. She helped SO much with the wedding!



Here is the third and final 'cousins' photo, but by this time? We're all married! I am so thankful that Joel and Jess, and Log and Shi were all able to make it out to our wedding in BC. These people were wonderful in all dimensions--the guys were great groomsmen (though they did participate in some shenanigans), and the girls were super helpful behind the scenes. What great cousins I am acquiring in addition to the already great ones I have!



Somewhere near the end of our wedding dance party, Graeme and I headed downstairs to play N64 with Caleb and Jo. Phil and Hilary lent their N64 to us with one condition: they had to have photos of us playing together. 'Twas a fair condition, as Graeme and I spent a lot of our pre-dating and early dating time playing Smash Brothers. Thanks to Phil and Hil, we still do this now (their wedding present to us? An N64 system). This photo is taken just after the N64 session. Clearly Graeme and I are both VERY tired human beings.



Aaaaand then came the dancing. Or, rather, the dancing came after our friend and awesome MC Jon said a few words/asked others to share as well. Speeches were unplanned, and mostly conisted of embarrassing stories about Graeme, for which I am thankful. Graeme's parents definitely brought on the tears though, which is featured in one of the wedding photos on our slideshow. ANYWAY, we ate, people spoke, and then we danced. The first song played and the only people on the floor were Sarah, Lindsey, Jon (who transformed into the DJ) and myself. Graeme was too busy finding other people to dance. It didn't take long for the dancing (which was in the daytime, no less!) to get going though. This photo of Sarah, Rose, some random legs and I busting moves on the floor. I don't have many moves to begin with, and a lace-up wedding dress makes things complicated... but it was still a ton of fun.



Later on, someone got the bright idea to lift Graeme and I up on shoulders. Easier said than done when you're in a dress, might I mention. Graeme was perched somewhat precariously on Joel's shoulders, and though my lady friends are totally capable, I didn't get all that high up. Needless to say, this photo is just a little more evidence of how much fun we had at the dance party, listening to highly embarrassing and/or inappropriate rap songs. Kudos to Jon for being an awesome DJ, and for managing to use a pen as a dance prop.



Once evening arrived, and some of the guests started to head home, Graeme and I needed to make our exit. After realizing that a large group of people were waiting outside the hall for us, we finally made it outside. This photo (taken by Phil) is one of my favourites. By this point, I was physically and emotionally exhausted, but incomparably happy about being married. So, this photo features one of my 'good-bye' hugs, specifically with Kari. Many thanks to her yet again for making the details of the wedding come together.



After we said our 'good-bye's, and admired our extremely well-packed (not to mention well-decorated) vehicle, Graeme and I started our nine-day-long road trip to from British Columbia to Ontario. I was SUPER tired, took my contact lenses out in the car, and started to realize how tight my dress really was during the drive to Harrison. Thankfully, our first chunk of driving was only a little over an hour, and Graeme was wonderful enough to drive. :)

I feel like there are another 18 billion things I need to write down (and thus remember), but it just isn't feasible at this point. What is most important, however, are these two things: 1) That I express how incredibly blessed I am to be married to such a wonderful man, and 2) That I extend my eternal gratitude to everyone who helped out with our wedding, and thus our marriage. In the next few months, all will receive personal 'thank you' notes, though I haven't even started yet.

I am married to the man of my dreams, and THAT (see text above) was how it happened.

--- chRistie

Authorial Encounters

Today, I (randomly) met Tish Cohen.
I met her 30 minutes before I was to start my shift.
While I was holding a copy of a Stephanie Meyer book.
For my roommate.
I avoided embarrassment.
Working at a bookstore is enjoyable.

--- chRistie

PS: Marriage = t-76 days.

Magazine Coverage

In addition to working as a high school teacher, I also work part-time at a bookstore. Said bookstore sells a variety of products other than books, including magazines. More often than not, I find myself shaking my head in disgust at not only the magazine content (or lack thereof), but also the magazine covers. Sigh.

There is an entire section ("Men's Interest", I believe, is the shelf talker, a problem in and of itself) that I find distasteful; most if not all covers in this section are adorned with scantily-clad and provocatively-posed ladies. Magazines such as Cosmopolitan (note: second Google search result for this magazine refers to certain positions one may attempt in certain activities. Oh bother!) consistently bother me, and even quasi-reputable publications like Vanity Fair have recently been less than pleasant viewing experiences. Come on editors; football is not synonymous with male genitals.

Today, I happened upon a pleasant image. Well, I digress: An initially troubling image edited to be downright delightful. Credit for the editing process due to RequiemOfSyris via reddit.com I have to agree that spectacles, a study and/or library, tea and modest apparel are a much more appealing magazine recipe than nudity and a laundromat. But without further adieu, the image itself:




Just to make things crystal clear, the magazines I am reading (and thus currently carrying in my bag) are as follows: The Economist, Mother Jones, In These Times, Maclean's, The Walrus and Scientific American Mind. Horn tooting? Maybe. But I feel it fair to share the things I'm reading/concerned about for the sake of accountability and whatnot.

--- chRistie

Technological difficulties.

As I am still struggling to upload the Engagement story to YouTube, I am posting a few engagement photos in lieu of the aforementioned video.


Standard Christie and Graeme photo that lacks normal facial expressions. Why should things change now?


Graeme and I are actually gangsters? Hence why the use of "WORD" to express joy, or anything else for that matter.


I was surprised not only by our engagement, but also by an engagement party. Graeme = deserving of major props.


An appropriate summary of our friends?

My life is THE best life.

--- chRistie

Marriage.

March 13th, 2010: Graeme and Christie are engaged.
August 22nd, 2010: Graeme and Christie are getting married.

Graeme not only surprised me with our engagement, but also with an engagement party. At said party, we did a basic recap of how the engagement took place. In lieu of rewriting this story for what seems to be the umpteenth time, I've uploaded the video recap to YouTube. Watch it here if you please.

Totally getting married.
Totally stoked.

--- chRistie

NB: Technical difficulties. Still trying to upload the video to YouTube.

The end is nigh.

Facebook officially occupies too much of my time, and thus it needs to be removed from my schedule entirely via deactivation. A preemptive look at the deactivation process asked me if I was certain I wanted to deactivate, as (insert name of 1 random person of the 372 ish people I am 'friends' with on facebook) would miss me. Thanks for your consideration facebook, but I'd rather leave less of a digital footprint and have more free time.

To summarize, this is happening in t minus 5 days. Those who feel the need to contact me electronically can do so via my standard Gmail address, or via this blog.

Women's vs. Gender Studies

In my always-planning/over-preparing mind, I am beginning to consider which sort of MA program I should pursue. This, of course, occurring at least half a decade in the future. Given my recent interests—and thus reading—I have somewhat decided to pursue (Women’s and) Gender Studies, though a specific stream or area has yet to be decided upon. Based on the recent publication by the National Post Editorial Board, however, I wonder if such a decision is intelligent, or even advisable.

Though I am somewhat opposed to Women’s Studies alone—as they have, at least in the past, done much of what the NP Ed. Board claims—I do think that the study of women and men is an important area of scholarship. More specifically in relation to the article, however, I must assert that the Ed. Board has gone slightly too far in their criticism of W.S. programs.

So, before I digress any further, allow me to clarify my thoughts, and thus clarify my writing: whether it is to the National Post, or to thoughtful (and thoughtless) readers everywhere, I hereby clarify my (rudimentary) understanding, and thus support of, the need for Gender Studies programs, and thus for human equality.

First and foremost, I believe that a new movement should be created to supplement feminism, to be more aptly titled “equalism”. Simply stated, though women have indeed been marginalized and repressed and what have you, many other groups and individuals have been as well. And, as I see it, the most redemptive notion that humanity needs to grasp is this: that we are all equal regardless of race, sex, creed or origin, and all deserve love, and respect, and safety.

If we define “feminism” in the same way that that the New Oxford American dictionary does:

The advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.

Then indeed, I am a feminist, and a true supporter of feminism. If women are to be politically, socially and economically equal to men, then all people should be equal. Although this definition does leave the transgendered, yet again, somewhat out in the cold. That issue to be discussed at a later date.

The trouble, however, lies in the multi-faceted (and thus truly problematic) nature of feminism’s definition. To begin: many people, when faced with the dreaded “F’ word, automatically ascribe a negative connotation to the it. Unfortunately, feminism is the veritable glue to which many negative associations are adhered.

So, surprise that it may be, I actually agree with the NP Ed. Board… to some extent. The extremist tone of the article may not have been necessary, but the reminder of the equality’s importance merits a second thought in the very least. For any progress to be made, there must be challenge and struggle. As such, I believe that though many Women’s Studies programs go too far, a re framing those programs to be more equality-focused (and closer to Gender Studies programs) would be a step in the right direction.

Oh, but lest I forget: Many of the responses to the aforementioned article reek of that bra-burning, man-hating “feminism” that so oft drags the equality movement into the dregs. I think that an addendum of “what about equality?” would serve to be much more effective. If the writers of these responses want to read truly sexist publication, they should seek out of the penmanship of our dear friend from Calgary. I do have to give credit to “jackieg” for sharing Germaine Greer’s wisdom about our understanding of the patriarchy/matriarchy binary that is oh so damaging.

--- chRistie

Silly, silly magazines...

Although knowing the minute details of celebrity culture or the latest fashion trends generally do not interest me, many of the updates on this website make me extremely happy. I do not care to know what random celebrities have recently 'tweeted' (I, by the way, despise Twitter), but I do enjoy being reminded of how much Cosmopolitan fails at, well, everything.

So, for a less academic look at life, here are Jezebel's 10 Best Cover Lies of the year, some of which include the almighty fails of Cosmo. Enjoy, or despair... whatever you feel most appropriate.

I'd post an image, but most of them may be slightly offensive in the least. :)

--- chRistie

Suffice it to say...

Most of the time, I find that the words of others are more significant than my own. I exist solely to re-distribute ideas, rather than risk spitting out my personal thoughts. As such, two things that I believe merit sharing:

Number one: This article.

Number two: "For me, forgiveness and compassion are always linked: how do we hold people accountable for wrongdoing and yet at the same time remain in touch with their humanity enough to believe in their capacity to be transformed?" - bell hooks

Happy 2010 and whatnot.

--- chRistie