Romance.

Nineteen (19) months and counting.



Boyfriend of my dreams.

Obviously not 'untitled'.

Whoops.
Apparently, it's October? I did not receive that memo...

I'm not in a writing mood, mostly because I am about to start reading a lot of (poorly written) literary paragraphs. The teaching part of being a teacher is generally a good time; however, the marking part of being a teacher isn't entirely my favourite. Especially when students don't know how to spell. This is one of those times in my life--I'm sure there are more to come--that being obsessive-compulsive about the mechanics of writing just doesn't work out so well.



All that being said, I would rather make a list of what's going on in my life than to properly compose a paragraph. And herein follows the aforementioned list:

- Long distance relationships are stupid and frustrating, although bearable I suppose.
- I have a love/hate relationship with both of the classes that I am teaching this semester.
- Tonight, we are having a cheese party at our apartment.
- Because I survived my first full week of teaching, I got a pedicure on Friday.
- I really, really miss living in Saskatchewan a lot right now... especially because autumn in the lower mainland doesn't mean raking leaves, it means wearing rubber boots again.
- Hockey season has begun again, and I am (surprisingly) quite excited, and even capable of having a real conversation with those who consider themselves 'true' hockey fans.
- Decisiveness is not one of my strengths.
- The future, and the general unknown that I am faced with post-May 2009 is starting to annoy me. A lot.

List complete?
Tally ho!

Lonely.

I miss my boyfriend.

Summer has almost ended!

I cannot believe that summer is drawing to a close. In a mere nine days, I will have completed my final day of work as a Success Coach, and will be making the final preparations to drive to Red Deer, Alberta at an ungodly hour of the morning. A lot of things have occurred in the past four months, many of which I have most definitely enjoyed. I still don't feel entirely 'moved in' to my new basement suite, I haven't finished the book I purchased when my Mom visited for graduation in April, and I still have a number of things on my seven-point summer goal list to complete.



I am a mix of excitement and trepidation, contentedness and anxiety. I am mourning the loss of my Saskatchewan identity. I am, in some ways, officially an adult now--I imagine myself as twenty-three when I am only twenty-two and a half. To say the least, this summer has left me slight confused about, well, everything.

Highlights of summer (in a list, of course):
- going to Powell's
- learning how to golf
- finally having an assembled bookcase
- watching movies guilt-free
- seeing a hippopotamus at the zoo
- spending a weekend at the lake
- taking a hip-hop class with my girlfriends
- having general adventures

Looking at that list, I am happy with summer. But looking at my heart, I just don't want summer to go. Even though I am excited to finally be a (pretend?) teacher, I am dreading having homework again. Even though I am excited to go to Alberta with Graeme, I am dreading being without my boyfriend for four months. Even though, even though, even though. My life has split itself into two distinct pieces--one piece peaceful and content and one piece mind-numbingly nervous. The two pieces don't work well together.



Generally speaking, I claim to love change. In a break-time conversation on the lawn this afternoon, I openly admitted that I actually hate change. I like the results of change, but I definitely don't like the process of changing. Of course I want to be a high school teacher... but that doesn't mean I want to go to school for another nine months of my life. Of course I want to continue dating Graeme... but that doesn't mean I want us to be separated by all of western and central Canada. Bah humbug, this may prove to be the hardest year of my life. In fact, I'm quite confident that this year--whether it be this school year, the next three hundred and sixty five days, or the age of twenty-two--will indeed be more difficult than all previous years I've lived.

Keys to survival (yes, another list):
- getting enough sleep
- doing all (home)work in advance
- spending time by myself
- budgeting
- reading books for fun
- trusting God with everything



I think I'm going to attempt to write more often. As of late, writing isn't something that I have managed to properly prioritize. However, when I do write, I honestly think that I am at least somewhat more mentally stable. Needless to say, I'm going to write more often. At this point in the evening, however, my bed is calling me to go to sleep. I am forcing myself to go to bed before midnight so I can actually get up in the morning. :)

I made it.

I am a university graduate. I spent the past four years of my life slaving away, and now I am finally reaping the rewards. I have been handed my (fake) degree, worn the silly motorboard and pasted on the smiles for all those expressing their congratulations. Although I'm returning to school this fall to complete my Education degree, things are very different. One year from now, I will be on the verge of completing my B.Ed, and deciding where I'm going to live after this whole 'post-secondary' thing is all over. How strange.

For the summer, I am fostering my inability to leave TWU, as I'm catering for three weeks and then being a Success Coach for the second summer in a row. I guess I really like my university or something. Its just a strange feeling, having an English degree like I wanted to four years ago. I really didn't think I'd get it all done, but somehow I did. Hooray hooray hooray. :)

Sickness.

I am horrendously ill.

I had a wonderful, relaxing, quasi-productive Easter long weekend, and at the close of this weekend, an unknown illness invaded my body. It is as if my immune system has entirely gone to sleep. I legitimately feel as if there is a (very mean) man inside my head inflating a balloon, and subsequently filling that balloon with pudding. The balloon is attempting to emerge from my skull--first through my nose, and now through my ears. Lovely lovely lovely today is such a wonderful day.

I'm getting through because of peppermint tea, Advil cold and sinus, and the anticipation of sleep. The moral of the story is that all people should avoid being too close to me should I accidentally breathe my nasty germs on you. Hopefully my immune system will wake up soon and we can all be friends again.

I remain unchanged.

Directly quoting me on March 18th, 2005: "I had a bunch of random things typed here before, but my brain is all tired and I can't really think." Three years later, all is essentially the same.

Direction.

In recent years, I feel that I have made a step towards maturity: I now search out films based on their directors and producers, in addition to the general aesthetic appeal of what I discover at apple.com/trailers. My conclusion thus far is that I greatly enjoy two specific director/producers: Ridley Scott and Christopher Nolan.



Undoubtedly, I took notice of Ridley Scott with his Academy Award-winning epic Gladiator. I am both a lover of ancient history, as well as a lover of a well-done 'action' film, and thus Gladiator tops my list of favourite films. In addition to Gladiator, however, I soon discovered that Ridley Scott possessed more talent than I was aware of. Adding films like Tristan & Isolde, Kingdom of Heaven, Black Hawk Down, American Gangster and The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford to his exhaustive list of films. I love Scott's interpretation of characters within particular contexts, and the overall approach he takes in projecting the vision of his film. Ridley Scott is the first director whose film I have watched solely because he was associated with it. NB: Legend is not Scott's best work, albeit I do enjoy a good fantasy.



On a slightly different note, Christopher Nolan was one of my more recent discoveries, merely a year ago as I analyzed Memento for a summer course. One of the most mind-bending and intriguing films I've ever seen, Memento inspired my great appreciation for Nolan's examination of the intricacies of the human mind. I believe it takes a very creative mind to decide to purposely run a film in snapshots of reverse, revealing the most key element of the plot at the outset of the film and regressing through the occurrences leading up to such a pivotal plot element. Additionally, Nolan also directed/wrote/produced one of my other favourite films, The Prestige. Continuing his trend of mind-bending, Nolan throws the viewer for many a mental loop-de-loop, and definitely keeps you guessing. Christopher Nolan's continuing work on expanding Batman films excites me.

Watch their movies. I'm shamelessly promoting these directors in my procrastination.

Post-Bahamas Reflections

Less than a week after returning from the Bahamas, I am extremely unmotivated and would give almost anything to return to such a glorious place. I have never felt so incredibly relaxed and at peace on a break during school before. Generally speaking, I have a fun time during reading breaks, but am always panicking in the back of my mind about my excessive homework that I am neglecting. This time? This time was different. I actually had fun and didn't worry about the consequences for my academic career. In retrospect, that may have been an irresponsible choice; however, I feel much more mentally stable having relaxed so much.



Never in a million years did I think that I would go to a place like The Bahamas on spring break. It seemed like an unbelievable dream when I went to Orange County in my second year, so this was a completely wonderful and surreal experience. The general schedule of a day went as follows: wake up somewhere around 8:00 or 9:00 am (approximately 5:00 or 6:00 am British Columbia time), eat breakfast, put on sunscreen, pack a bag, walk to the ferry and head off to another island. Once arriving at the aforementioned island (Hope Town, Guana Cay, et cetera), we would poll the locals and other nerdy tourists for the best beach location and make our way there. We'd then sleep, swim and snorkel for a bit, grab some lunch, sleep, swim snorkel some more, and then make our way back home. We'd go out to dinner somewhere, come back to the house to watch Cops for a few hours, and then go to bed before 11:00 pm. Fantastic.



I have never been happier about spending such a large amount of money before... aside from the money I'm spending on my education? Yeah. Anyway, the moral of the story is that everyone should go to The Bahamas with seven of their closest friends and have the time of their lives. :) Done and done. I am a very content woman, despite the fact that I have about twelve books to read in order to complete my university career. Minor details...

Oh Starbucks...

"The most important thing in life is to stop saying 'I wish' and start saying 'I will.' Consider nothing impossible, then treat possibilities as probabilities." - David Copperfield

Who knew that the wisdom I need right now would be a) from a magician, and b) found on the side of a Starbucks cup? Nevertheless, in the midst of an absolutely and indescribably busy final semester, Copperfield's perspective is, to say the very least, a healthy reminder of what my thoughts should center around. Who am I, and where is my faith if I cannot trust enough to believe in the probability of accomplishing my many goals?

Sometimes, from my perspective (and regardless of how sacreligious this may sound, God is the great magician--it is a complete miracle, and even a magical trick that I am alive and doing what I'm doing. God is infinite, mysterious, and completely in control of my life whether I want to allow that or not. I'm learning to be more content with knowing essentially nothing.

Seek peace and pursue it.

Ballerina Birthday!

Sunday, February 10th, 2008? The twenty-second anniversary of my birth. Lucky me, I managed to make the mistake of telling my roommate the two-two/tutu joke, hence my birthday attire. :) Nevertheless, in comparison to last year, this year's celebratory costumage was far from embarassing. There was no monkey mask, no unfortunately small grass skirt, no awkward interactions with strangers. I can deal with a tutu, thankyouverymuch.



But indeed. My birthday. It was a wonderful day. :) After attending church, and doing a little Bahamas preparation (aka: spending quality time in the tanning tube), I was surprised by twelve of my closest girlfriends with a wonderful evening. We proceeded from McMillan 107 to Old Spaghetti Factory, I opened my collection of random gifts, and we had a simply wonderful dinner. Specifically, Sarah collected a box fun of Bahamas-related presents for me, many of which (evidence in the photo above) were very amusing.



These are some of my most favourite ladies. After dinner, we donned our pajamas and/or sweat pants, had homemade caffeinated beverages courtesy of the lovely April, and gleefully viewed Across the Universe. Sigh. What a wonderful film. But film selection aside, spending time with these women made my day... I am blessed beyond all comprehension with great girlfriends.



Oh, and just for the sake of memory, a quotation: "Is this the conclusion of something, or just a fun sleepover?" I'm not going to explain the context, nor will I identify the speaker(s) in order to perserve my own integrity. Needless to say, fun was had by all. I thank God for my wonderful friends. :)

Skating?

I went ice skating.

There are a few important points to consider in this tale of winter fun. First of all, even though I grew up on the prairies, had my own ice rink and was in figure skating for a short period of time, I did not skate very much as I grew older. In fact, I believe that before coming to university, the last time I had actually been skating was when I was approximately eleven years of age. I don't recall specifically which occasion this final skating event occurred; however, I do remember looking into the living room closet at my skates and the skates belonging to my mother, and thinking something along the lines of "Hm. I'm far too cool to go skating with my mother." Thus, skating ended for me.

Fast forward from my pre-adolescent years to late February 2007, and picture a Christie who not only hasn't skated for an entire decade, but hasn't even laced up a pair of hockey skates since one very traumatic "bring a friend to ringette" skating experience. Add to the mix one boy (now boyfriend) who happens to be a hockey player, and has more importantly been a hockey player since he was a very small child. The result? An experience that, although lacking any embarassing moments in which my bottom contacted the ice, is not ripe with the skating skills I (ha ha) undoubtedly possess.

Last year's skating experience was one of stiff knees, extreme nervousness, and general pre-dating awkward feelings... not to mention so impressive dance moves on the part of my now-significant other. And now, eleven or so months later, I found myself in similar circumstances involving those lovely shoes that have knives on the bottom of them. :) Luckily, at this point of my illustrious skating career, I have a boyfriend who can tie my skates, hold my hand, coach me in doing cross-overs and one-foot stops (that I'll probably never do), and even carry me back to the car when I'm complaining about my aching ankles.

Most importantly, I did not fall down this year either. I squealed a lot, I desperately avoided playing silly games such as a tag or catch or some such nonsense, and I stayed close to the boards. Nevertheless, as Graeme reminded me more than one, my fall record is a lot better than his. Sigh. Any skating encouragement I can get will suffice, thankyouverymuch. :)

Skating is fun?

Homeland

It is late at night, I am still awake, and I have stumbled upon this jem of a movie poster:

I have absolutely no comment whatsoever.

2008.

Because I am sick and feeling quite overwhelmed with my 'final' semester of university, I am going to write an entire blog dedicated to one of my favourite methods of stress relief: Teen Girl Squad.

In case you have yet to experience such joy, please go quickly to http://www.homestarrunner.com/tgsmenu.html and watch all of them. Really. You should. There is nothing like a few minutes of 2-D entertainment to make you a little happier. Maybe it just takes a certain sense of humour to enjoy the aforementioned animated happiness, but I am a firm believer that Teen Girl Squad can make anyone feel better about their day. So there.

I love Teen Girl Squad. I really, really do. I do not love the idea of taking nineteen semester hours of classes, and I do not love the idea of being sick right as school begins, but yes... I do love Teen Girl Squad. And, more importantly, I love those who love Teen Girl Squad. Thus, this entry is sincerely dedicated to my cousin who introduced me to this that I now love, and most importantly to my dearest Jolene who happens to be across the country where I cannot hear her joyful peals of laughter.

Jolene.
I miss you.
I miss you so much that my blood hurts?