My lady friends

I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with the roughest courage. When they are real, they are not glass threads or frost-work, but the solidest thing we know. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am an extremely lucky woman, and I live a life that is ripe with things to be thankful for, not least of which are my female friends. Unfortunately, it took my being somewhat bereft of female friendship to truly realize how valuable and important these women are in my life.

I've been mulling over these sorts of thoughts for a while now in light of reading this beautiful article by Emily Rapp a few months ago. Granted, my circumstances are hardly the same as Rapp's; all of my girlfriends fall within the early-to-late-twenties age demographic; only one of the eight women I am closest with lives in the same geographic region (and same neighbourhood) as myself; their respective relationship statuses are diverse. Nevertheless, this article resonated with me deeply, because it identified the heart of female friendship: that we survive "by doing what women do: supporting, finding a way to love and nurture in situations marked by the absence of love, tenderness, sense, sanity, or even humanity."

The women of my life (many of whom I have known for the better half of the past decade) celebrated with me when I got married, wept with me as my father's health progressively worsened, and laughed with me when I inevitably did or said something foolish. Even when my husband and I moved across Canada so he could go to grad school, and I worked two jobs, and my Dad died... and despite the fact that I virtually refused to talk to anyone about anything for a few months... these women were there for me. I wanted to suffer alone, and thankfully, they would not let me.

Aristotle wrote that friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies. Perhaps my soul is dwelling in eight. That being said (and without further adieu), a brief introduction to my closest lady friends:

I met Kari sometime shortly before my second year of university officially started, although I'm quite certain I saw Kari during my first year. Kari was a part of Student Orientation Staff, which meant she was running around and/or yelling whilst wearing the world's most obnoxious (and thus most lovable) red Hawaiian-print shirt. Kari became my supervisor when I worked as a Success Coach, my mentor through the church that we both attended, and--most importantly--my friend. Kari is, without a doubt, the most creative person I know. She made a seemingly-infinte amount of paper flowers for my wedding (made out of old copies of much-beloved books), and was the official Creative Director. :) She actually designs men's accessories, and works at this awesome place.

Kari and I at my Bachelor of Education convocation.

Hilary is another person I knew of during university, which was only because a) she was also in the Education program, and, ironically, b) she was dating (my now-husband) Graeme Esau. Obviously, things change. Hilary and I became friends sometime during third year university, which was also as a result of being involved with Student Orientation Staff. My dating her ex-boyfriend made for a very funny first staff meeting. Hilary and I ended up not only being in classes and SOS together, but we also were roommates for a short time before she got married, and also worked in catering. Hilary is an excellent cook, and she has the biggest heart (hence why she works at this place in learning assistance). She and her husband were actually the first people to visit us in Ottawa after we moved, which is yet another testament to how great of a friend Hilary is.

Hilary and I at Skate With The Bombers.

Oddly enough, I knew Erinn before I knew her younger brother, aka: the guy I married. She and I had friends in common, but she peaced out from TWU a few years prior to myself. We obviously got to know each other better once Graeme and I were dating, and now realize we have a lot more in common than Graeme. Erinn is one of the most genuine and adventurous people I know. She is always traveling (even to Ottawa to visit us!), and is always up for new and exciting things. Erinn teaches middle school in Alberta, and subsequently has a lot of funny stories. I am so fortunate to have such a cool older sister in my life! (Who, by the way, took me out for high tea for my birthday! Impressive.)

Erinn and I in the ice hotel in Quebec City.

Shawna is one of the few people who talks as much and as fast as I do, which makes for excellent comraderie. Shawna and I met at some unknown, early point during undergrad; we were in the same program (secondary Education), and often ended up in classes together because we had the same minor (History). Shawna is one of the most honest, genuine women I know, and is excellent when it comes to providing marital wisdom. She is an excellent crafter, and is my ultimate plant authority... largely, because she spent a number of summers working at a flower shop. If it weren't for some very important prior commitments, Shawna would have been responsibile for the flowers at my wedding. :)She works as a middle school teacher at this place, but is currently on maternity leave with her beautiful son.

Shawna and I skating on the opening night of the Vancouver Olymics.

Lindsey and I lived in the same dorm building starting in our first year of university in 2004, and our paths crossed on a somewhat-regular basis due to being in the same program (Education). Lindsey moved in with my other roommate and I when we all started our final year of the Education program. She was my constant hockey companion (for the love of the game, and not for a significant other), and was forever laughing with me about the silliest things. She's also a phenomenal person to watch television (especially Friends), or be generally sloth-ish, with. Lindsey always has a positive outlook on life, and is an immensely easy person to get along with. She was immensely supportive and patient while the spouse and I suffered through long-distance... even when I was throwing things or playing flutes. :) She is doing management training with this place, and is certainly the most awesome seller-of-cardigans that I know.

Lindsey and I on the day of our BEd convocation.

Taryne and I had a bunch of mutual friends throughout university, but it wasn't until we shared the responsibility of Thursday University 101 classes that we truly bonded. Like a number of my other female friends, Taryne and I became close as a result of working on Student Orientation Staff and wearing red Hawaiian-print shirts. Like my spouse, Taryne is highly intelligent and thus often bored, hence why she's done a number of short-term medical missions, and is starting a MA in International Health in Denmark come September. Taryne and I are both extremely busy people, which is largely why we became friends. Four-ish years ago we started having Saturday brunches at this place in Fort Langley, and spent the rest of our time together drinking diet Coke at her kitchen island. Many of my wedding photos are in Taryne's house because she and her Mom live a matter of minutes away from the place I got married.

Taryne and I in the same building as Sidney Crosby!

Erin and I lived in the same dorm in our second year of university, and now live two blocks away from each other in a totally different city. We became friends because there were few other women living amongst us who weren't in first year university... and because we both loved Teen Girl Squad. After getting married and graduating, Erin and her husband moved to Hungary to teach English. We managed to stay connected via some very long emails. :) Last year, Erin and her husband became parents, and decided to return to North America. As luck (and prayer) would have it, Erin's husband took a job at the same place that I work, which means that they were moving in to the building I work in. Erin is a constant encouragement (often involving tea and cookies), and is always willing to lend a hand with my random projects. Plus, she does a pretty good job of writing about her daughter, which you can read here.

Erin and I on our university grad cruise.

Sarah is the friend I have known the longest. We lived in the same hallway in our first year of university, 2004, and quickly bonded over Christian rock music and dance parties. We became roommates the following year, and lived together (in a variety of locations) until the day before I got married in August 2010. We are both only children, both Ukranian, and became each other's later-in-life sisters. Sarah is a master of scrapbooking, which you can see proof of here (not least of which is my wedding scrapbook!). We went to dozens of concerts together, including a 7-hour road trip to Warped Tour. Sarah is an excellent listener (especially in light of my being an excellent talker!), and certainly kept me sane during some of the most challenging times in the past eight years. Sarah and I just reunited after more than a year-and-a-half by taking a train to New York City.

Sarah and I at Deer Lake Park seeing The Fray in concert.

This is probably the longest blog post I have ever written or will ever write, but I find it hard to skimp on words when the women of my life are involved. God bless you ladies. You are the BEST.

--- chRistie